Day Six - Traditions

Raya and Micah were married six months after their first date, to the day.  Two weeks later, Micah’s brother Kevin married Olivia. The family of six got together every Sunday night for dinner and games, and often stayed in touch throughout the week.

Raya enjoyed sharing life together with her new big family. She wasn’t surprised that Micah’s Canadian family enjoyed watching hockey, but she did learn other surprising things. For example, they had two big Thanksgiving dinners – one in October (which she thought was rather ridiculous, as it was still a long way from Christmas) and the usual one in November. They introduced her to the sport of curling, which they all loved watching on television, cheering ‘hurry hard’ while the two poor fellows with brooms swept their hearts out, chasing the rock down the ice.

One evening as they walked back to their house, Raya asked Micah how long he had lived in Canada as a child, realizing that she had never asked him that. He looked at her in amusement, with a bit of scorn.

“What are you talking about? I’ve never lived in Canada! You know my parents met here,” Micah laughed.

Raya was confused but didn’t want to seem ignorant so she pretended that she forgot and let the topic go. “How did Micah learn to drive on icy roads or develop his Canadian accent,” she wondered to herself.  This wasn’t the first time she had found him to be slightly dishonest. Maybe dishonest was a strong word, but misleading and ‘not telling the whole truth’ would be accurate. Sometimes it was about where he had been that day, other times it was exaggerating an experience from his past or telling a story with slightly different details. It was always so subtle that she just kind of wrote it off as a mistake or mixup, but it was starting to raise a red flag for her about how his trustworthiness.

He was a good provider and supported her in many ways, she reasoned to herself. He worked while she finished college and then insisted that she stay at home for a bit before looking for a job. That was already a year ago, and Raya really wanted to work and use her skills that she had studied so hard to learn. She had a feeling that the reason he didn’t want her to go to work was because he wanted to have a baby. In many ways, Raya wanted that too, even though the idea also terrified her, given her experience with her own parents and her fears about her ability to be a mother.  Raya had scheduled an appointment with her doctor to begin testing as to why she wasn’t able to get pregnant.

Olivia had shared that Kevin wanted to start a family as well. It helped to have someone else to talk to about the topic, even though her sister-in-law was much more confident in her mothering abilities. Olivia was confident about most things, Raya thought with a rueful smile. She seemed to love to teach Raya things and made suggestions regularly about what Raya should wear or how her hair or makeup would be more flattering.

The only person who Raya felt safe sharing her fears and shortcomings with was her mother-in-law Nell. Nell taught Raya how to cook many things, once she discovered that Micah expected her to cook all the meals and have dinner ready when he got home from work. Nell also listened with compassionate understanding when Raya finally opened up about her home life in her younger years. It felt so nice to have someone care so much about her. Raya wasn’t sure if Nell knew about the challenges she and Micah had been having, but out of respect for them both Raya didn’t ever mention anything negative about Micah to his mother.

Micah was increasingly demanding in their marriage. He wanted to know where she was at all times and called her several times each day, expecting her to be home if she hadn’t mentioned any plans beforehand. He gave her money each week and she kept receipts so he could balance their books. Raya wasn’t too sure what to do or say about it, if anything at all. It wasn’t as if he yelled at her very often and he was never abusive in any sort of physical way.  But she longed often for the independence and freedom from her earlier years, much as she was thankful for a family to belong with.

One Sunday night at their regular get together, after the dishes had been cleared away, Micah’s dad asked them all to join him in the living room. Raya noticed that the games table wasn’t set up yet as she sat down on the couch. He appeared to have something he wanted to share, and she noticed his hands were shaking.  Nell went to him and took his hand as she sat beside him on the love seat. The room was quiet for several minutes while he gained his composure. Tears quietly ran down Nell’s cheeks as she looked at the floor, while holding his hand in both of hers.

Eddie shared that he had been struggling with some health issues, and that they had received upsetting news the week before from their doctors. The doctors weren’t sure exactly what was wrong, but they suspected a genetic condition that had no known cure. They expected he would only have a couple of months to live, as an optimistic prediction. The brothers both put their faces in their hands to hide their emotion, and Raya rubbed Micah’s back while resting her head on his shoulder.  Eddie took a breath and continued.

“The doctors tell us that our sons should be tested for this condition as well, because if this condition is what they suspect, it is a disease that affects males in families.  We have appointments tomorrow morning and we’d like you to attend with us for the bloodwork and to hear what the doctors have to say.“

They nodded through their tears and headed home a bit early that evening, with whirling minds and fearful hearts.  Micah walked into their home and went straight to the bedroom. He took his pillow, went to the spare room, and shut the door firmly, leaving Raya alone to make some tea and ponder all that they had just heard.