Day Eight - Gone

Raya’s father-in-law Eddie didn’t live through the night. She ended up staying at the hospital with Nell, and was there when he took his final breath, which was a moment she would never forget. It was heartbreakingly beautiful, although she wasn’t about to admit that to any of her grieving loved ones. Olivia and Kevin had gone home earlier, and Nell asked Raya to call them and let them know that Eddie was gone. Raya also called Micah and left several messages throughout the day and evening, but didn’t hear back from him. She even called her neighbour to ask if Micah’s car was there, but she said they hadn’t seen him that day, which made Raya feel worried. However, she really didn’t want to upset Nell who was already going through the toughest night of her life. Finally at about 4am, after they had said their goodbyes to Eddie’s empty body, the nurses asked her to take Nell home for some rest. Nell was understandably in a state of shock, and held Raya’s arm as they walked to the parking structure. Raya took Nell’s keys and guided her to the passenger side, helping her into the seat.

Raya thought about asking if she could bring Nell to her house, as she wasn’t comfortable leaving the grieving woman alone, but she was concerned about Micah and didn’t want to involve Nell in a big argument. She decided to drive to Nell’s house, and was relieved when Nell agreed to get in bed, and let Raya tuck her in. Nell was asleep before Raya had finished tidying up the living room, so she left a note for Nell and took her in-laws’ car to head over to her own house.

Being on the streets in the middle of the night was a strange feeling. It was eerie. There were very few cars driving on the roads, and the lamp light gathered in a little foggy circle around each streetlight. Raya felt a bit numb herself, wondering if she was going to cry soon, or break down, or feel the sadness. Right now, she just felt nothing, except concern and a bit of annoyance about where Micah was.

She pulled up in front of her house and turned off the car, watching the house for any sign of movement. Maybe Micah had parked in the back, she thought, as he sometimes did that. She unlocked the front door and turned on the entryway light.

“Micah?” she called, afraid he would be there, and also afraid that he wouldn’t be there. She turned on lights as she progressed through the house, the dining room, the living room, the kitchen. She noticed his shoes were by the back door, and felt a sense of relief when she saw his car in the rear space they had by the alley. Exhaling, she turned off the main floor lights and made her way upstairs to their room. Tiptoeing into their bedroom, she noticed that the bed was still neatly made, just as she had left it that morning. He must be sleeping in the spare room again, she thought. She quietly eased open the door to the spare room and saw him laying on the floor beside the bed. It almost looked like he had fallen out of bed. Maybe he had been drinking too much. She turned on a small lamp beside the spare bed and gasped as she saw a bottle of pills open and empty laying on the side table. Micah’s mouth was open, and she thought she saw blood on the carpet. She reached for his neck and tried to find a pulse, but couldn’t feel a pulse at all.

“No, no, no, no,” she repeated in panic as she started to shake. She ran for the cordless phone and dialed 9-1-1 with unsteady hands, explaining to the young man on the other end what was happening, her own heart rate racing faster and faster. The paramedics arrived and rushed to Micah, searching for a pulse and quickly opening his shirt while accessing a bag with some paddles to place on his chest. Raya watched them count and try over and over with the paddles, until finally they looked at each other and shook their heads. Other people were arriving and coming in and out of the room, while a kind police officer took Raya’s arm and guided her quietly out of the room and down to the living room, where they sat together on the couch. The officer put an arm around Raya while she sobbed, and then asked who they could call to come and be with her. 

Raya had never felt so alone, as she realized that she had no one to call.  Not one person. Nell had enough going on. Kevin and Olivia needed their sleep. Eddie was gone. So was Micah. So was Micah.